Our relationships are very much like us. Once they are dead, there is nothing that can bring the old magic back.

Some people move on sooner than others, but everyone feels guilty over it. Perhaps that is why most people refuse to give up on them, keep trying to make it work, even though in their hearts they know there is nothing left.

There is no resurrection for the dead - in life or in relationships. The best thing you can do is to realise this and move on. The first step towards this is to be very sure that you want to end this relationship.

The next step is to get it over with in as painless a way as possible for everyone involved. Though there is no way to end a relationship without a lot of hurt or pain, there are ways to minimise them.

But is there a way to break-up a relationship without any hurt? Actually No. Rejection is always hard to take, but rejection from someone you care for is much harder. The best you can manage is to minimise the hurt.

1. Location:

However strong the temptation, do not break-up over the phone or email. Your soon-to-be ex deserves that much respect. Still not convinced? Think how humiliating it would be if someone did the same with you. It sends out the signal that your time together has never meant anything to you. Choose a private place for your break-up speech. You do not want to add humiliation to hurt, and your partner needs some time to deal with the news. Yes, it can be difficult and wanting to avoid confrontations is natural. But don’t you want a clean break for once and all, so you can get on with your life.

2. Time

Do not break-off around your partner’s birthday or any other special occasions. Time is of great essence, chances are that your partner already has a hint about the cracks in your relationship. You don’t want them to remember their birthdays or other special days as the day when you broke their heart. Preferably, try to do it on a weekday, so that work keeps them a little busy, a weekend will just give them more time to sit and sulk.

3. Reason

This is THE most important aspect. Be honest, brutally honest if need be, because the person who has loved you deserves a true reason to know what went wrong and where. It will help you both get over the relationship more easily and quickly if you’re true to yourself. Im not saying have a proper speech ready, but the reasons you think and why do you think those reasons are important.

4. Duration

Make sure you both have time on your hands for the talk. You don’t want to rush through it. This might probably, be the last time when you both will be discussing your relationship in detail. So its necessary that you talk out all the flaws, and decide the way forward. 

5. Aftermath:

The safest way to get over a relationship is not be in touch for at least the first 3-4 months, even if you guys decide to end it off on a good note and be friends. Oh and ya, try and stay away from rebound relationships. You don’t want to get into something when you are most vulnerable. 

And, the last piece of advice, which everyone will tell you is try and keep yourself busy with work, your hobbies, friends, whatever. Resist the urge to be alone.

Avoid the bar scene. Really, this is not the place to meet the love of your life. Though some claim success, most of those I’ve interviewed say it never really worked for them. If you’re just looking for a hook-up, a bar may be your best bet. But if you want a real relationship, try a different approach.

– Ask friends to introduce you to someone. This is my favorite way of meeting someone. A mutual friend knows both of you, so the due diligence is done and the first date will be much less awkward if there can be a double date that includes the mutual friend. This method of dating is not only safer, but is more fun and less scary than just picking someone up. So ask your friends. Then keep reminding them, and then go to as many parties as you can. Also, never turn down a wedding invitation — love is always present at a wedding.

– These days, you can’t avoid the Internet — and you shouldn’t. There are millions of singles on hundreds of dating sites, and many people have reconnected with old loves through Facebook. So you’ve got lots of company on the Internet, and your chances of meeting someone are pretty high.

It is always hard to want to get back out in the dating scene once you have had yet another failed relationship. Trust me, I have been there. The truth is guys sometimes a break is needed but it is dangerous to get too comfortable in it. Finding love requires risk and we must all be willing to take that leap. These three dating tips will help you get back out in the love game and hopefully find true love.

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo

Leave your emotional baggage at home
If you have a huge line in exes, a past addiction to therapy and you still can’t forgive your Dad for missing your sports’ day when you were five, keep it to yourself on your first date. Too much emotional baggage, too soon, is never attractive. If you end up in a relationship – you’ll have plenty of opportunity to air your past sexual history, your hang-ups and all your past regrets and mistakes.

A first date, like a first interview, is the time to emphasise your best points not to draw attention to your weaknesses.

However, if your date asks you a direct question, such as, “Have you ever been married?” (or even “Are you married?”) then of course give the true answer.

Be yourself
Let the other person see the real you. A first date is not the time to try out being the person you’d like to be, or the person you think your date would like you to be. After all, you don’t want them falling in love with a false version of you. You want someone who likes you for all you are, with your good bits, your not so good bits, your little quirky bits and all the things in between that make you, you.

Here are a couple of great first date tips.  These two are so important.  Always leave emotional baggage at home. Let the person see all the goods at first. Remember you never get a chance to redo a first impression! Secondly, always be yourself. It is way better to find out from the beginning if the two of you have real potential. By being yourself you will be able to determine even how much chemistry the two of you will have!

Dating Coach, Dawn Donohoo